Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Had a wonderful dinner with Kelly. Finished up with P.O. Usual frustration with the state. Over a month trying to get food stamps and nothing. Not that they owe me but it is something offered to citizens of the state. I can’t vote so who knows I am a citizen without a tongue. So I make every effort to be positive & without question I’m surrounded by love. It’s just this state. State of. I can’t imagine doing this alone. Any of it. So grateful to have the love I do. Just please process my food stamps and let’s get this behind me. Forward. Was going to see Noah but the rain was crazy. I just wanted bad tv. Something to distract. Falls asleep to. Nope. Got newest blog. It’s only been 2 to 2 ½ months but who’s counting? Great pics from Matt – thanks. Just to let you all know it’s almost all o.k. for the most part.
So got home - Addicted To Beauty, great trash tv. Milk & cookies, (way sick now from all the food). Now some super sad movie, Catch and Release. God, I hate dead people movies. Hate, though drawn to. What is that? Well, it’s self-pity & a perverse guilty pleasure. To know these people playing some part in some fiction & their hearts are breaking. Super. Break some hearts, just leave real ones alone. So this was to be about food stamps & general b.s. of the state, no, it’s good food with a good friend and reminders of love. So 2 weeks or so ago I’m going out for a walk, about to enter sidewalk territory & up ahead 2 women, 1, a strange shape – a kind of walking juice box – real, real square. Side look and OMG, it’s her! That woman who just couldn’t talk to me cause I’m such a monster. But then my other friend found me and all was good but now she is a juice box – yuck. Is this what they call instant karma or just too much grazing? Yikes. Either way I almost jumped in a bush. So Noah had errands to run and I had quiet to attend. Kelly a drive home. Ben beer in his car.What were you doing at almost 11 p.m. central time Tuesday? So let’s recap. A ramble to address the insanity of trying to get food stamps turns into an odd sadness of fictional blather that re-focuses the absurdity of real life and the sometimes juice box individuals that are better dealt with in a bush. I have no answers just frustration that turns into slap happy laughter as a car drives by and hits a huge puddle delivering so much funky, funky water into Kelly’s open car window as we are driving. Instant karma does exist & does remember to bless us in so many ways. I’ll get food stamps some day. Now I have tons of pancake mix & so many good, good friends & some more time left to this movie – a wonderful cast by the way.
Talked to Aaron upon his release. So happy he is out. Little food. Lots of books. Music. Josh is back in my life and gave me a ton of music. Pet Sounds, Townes VZ, Muddy Waters, Radiohead. Super. Making & working at a pizza place is work. Great crew. So tomorrow & today & yesterday, forward.