Christmas and my gift. Silence & I refuse to talk with anyone annoying. (Eliminated my celly amongst a few others). And magically cold November rain appeared on the radio. Nothing lasts forever…hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain…sometimes I need some time alone. Amazing song. Prison has truly turned me on to Guns & Roses. Metallica. Heavy metal. I guess. And cake. I adore prison cake. Stale, thick and reminds me of a wedding. Sweet. Way too sweet frosting. I have no idea why. You? It’s quiet today. The snow. Hush of crunch. The ice & sadness lingers. I meander on this gravel road. Realize in more ways than not, I’m blessed. When the boys were little Christmas was huge. After Colette left I agreed she could have the boys on the actual holiday. For me it’s never the day/date. It’s the practice/sentiment of. I love giving gifts early. Hated to wait. Colette would do the tree/the food so it’s natural what’s left for me. So being in prison on Christmas means nothing. It’s the distance all the other days. Well you know what they say – no pain no gain. ZZ Top on radio now. Stretching me a tad. We visited Muddy Water’s birth/home place years ago. Just a square of 4 walls. Log. No roof. Someone was going to restore (guy @ Stackhouse records in Clarksdale told us). He also told us one of those bearded guys – Billy? got himself a part log and had a guitar fashioned. I prefer happy Christmas to merry. That & a few random gifts I’ve been mailing out is all I have to add.
I’ve lead a good life. Crazy marriage. More insane childhood. 2 fantastic sons. Traveled the south parts unknown with them. Shared their dreams/nightmares. Loved with all my soul. Then turned a corner & another chapter. Met most of my heroes. Saw Johnny & June at Grand Ole Opry. Smoked dope with Ginsberg & Burroughs. Won a sex-discrimination suit (it was settled). Published some if not my favorite American poets. Make breath with beauty. Fell in/and in love more times than can count. Shook Jessie Jackson’s hand. Got shot at. Some amazing concerts. Bowled wit Bob Mould. & opened my heart & home to so many. Fell off the horse way too many times. Saw the exact moment when both my sons became men Saw them love. Saw them hurt. Saw them perform. & had my ass kicked so many times. My regrets are only 2. Leaving Noah in this time & Evan leaving instead of me.
Sometimes I need some time alone.
Bless & keep you.