3908

Sunday brings a quiet most humbled thru. I would compare prison to a desert but that would be fraud. The sun, the life, the movement of the desert is far from this truth. Prison is sucked out from. Vapid desolate beige flat white bread toast. Sure it’s what you make of it but that point of departure is so flat. So flat it’s beyond comparison. But you build from & it will collapse. Yes, it will collapse & it can crush. So you move as flame. You dig fro color, humor, humanity, humility & as your fingers get tired you use your feet, your mouth, your ears. This morning, on Sunday Morning Gustave Klimt. Way too short of visual but what there was I ate. I sucked. I licked the tv screen as one might love a beer. Such wonderful paintings. Such a fantastic inhale. Now as I write, 3 Tenors on PBS. I just survived “Nessun Dorma”. Anything I write will not do justice to. Not just Pavarotti, but Pavarotti in here. It was/is so delirious my back against the wall sound all the way up. I was launched into space. “Ground control to Major Tom” & like a naughty Dutch boy I pulled my finger from the dike. I refuse to die in here. Chop off my roots, deny sunlight, water. I will grow & thrive from that I may attach to. Not parasitical rather practical. Received a great letter from real friend. He’s doing a collab with one of my favorite artists. Sent me example of. I’ve read that letter 5-6 times? He felt bad hadn’t written for a while. Fuck that! God I needed that letter. Found my sea legs. Great packets from Kelly. Some money from my brother. I think these guys are singing Edith Piaf. It’s in Italian. She’s French & I’m mad. Delirious & so happy. Not only not losing oneself, it’s bringing something back.
Later

or minus you

you can’t see it but he really was a good man
first kind word heard all day
said he’d pray for us and that i loved him
punished us all so we’d feel his loss
had an audience
thought it was tv but this was a new twist
you, who always come back, be here for
a personal triumph



me birthday

drank with james’s son
& now cry
overwhelmed by
loss
love
legacy
memory.

threw out all the old
never to be revisited
life times are piling up
trying to kill what is
trying to kill.

biggest mistake was making a friend
who writes law and order
now it is just contrived.

proven right but by letting
all come out
hurts more.


3-1-08 wave length

until today didn’t realize it spelled out

CO-EXIST

not embarrassed because
i was with you and
you said
me too

3308

In less than ½ breath. Consider. Watch a feather drop.snow flake. A kiss to dry. Word to say. Hello. Goodbye. All fleeting. All so fast. Super fast. Perspective. Yesterday I did nothing but within that nothing was everything & then the next thing, today soon tomorrow. I wish those words never existed. Created. I’m sure main reason was man’s attempt at control of the universe. So if that big light goes up & then down & up again, what does that signify? Mean. Hmmm. Movement of light suddenly means time & time means money right? Hmmm. I got nothing but time & so little money it’s silly. I get paid but $.12 an hour. Obviously labor unions do not have a voice in prison. Any way, this was about fleeting nature of time. & oh boy am I lost. I still think like Jefferson. That we have to water the tree of liberty unlike the powers that be, who use it for a place to take a leak. It’s only when I think of the “Patriot Act” that I remember/realize that Tom is so dead. So very very dead & without that blood the old tree is next. It’s those milestones that prove that time does move forward. One day you give birth, next you two are walking down the street. Amazing. See. Because I got nothing but time & believe me that silence or attempt at, stirs up this dude’s noggin. Thoughts fly like bats – crows in cornfield.

3208

A new day. A new month. Though still stuck within ice, snow and now rain, spring is on horizon. A few notes, check out Eugene Kane’s Milwaukee Journal column from today. He is so right, not only thru MSDF but quite a bit of this prison system. Start looking around count 100 people – 1 in. Though it doesn’t sound high, it is. Kane’s column goes into a part of what it’s all about. http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=723841
I think it was Thursday on Ellen. She told of a heart breaking story of Larry, openly gay high school student who sent a valentine to Brandon, who later killed Larry. I don’t think I need to go on. A thank you to Ellen for letting us know. We need to realize & take control of our hatred. Of our judgements. Our actions. Please keep Larry in your hearts, prayers & please allow Brandon in. These are our children. Think.

My celly told me I have balls. Walk with confidence. I thanked him. I thank the universe for this experience. Just Thursday when I broke down he was so cool & now today. A part of it he said was how I’m so up front with my crime. With my life. It’s a two way street. Rick’s a great guy.

Great seeing Wilco on SNL. Dylan on PBS. Kelly is finishing up Barren & I’ll be giving her something new in the next week. Don’t you love her poems? You know you don’t need to be so silent. Warm morning, soon freezing rain. Out walking with no socks. Felt so free.

No work out today – so sore, tired. Sunday’s are a day of just being. The week isn’t but just nothing. That something of nothing. Life on a raft floating. A long shower. Perfect cup of coffee watching the snow. Following the wind. We walk literally in circles here. Fascinating. No need to worry. This personal trip.

Later.

22208

Folsom Prison covered by D.O.A. playing right now on radio. Earlier, Radiohead, Dick Dale & some amazing techno. Big time flashbacks. Evan, Noah, taking turns on the turntables. Avenging disco Godfather even further. Labor the Rave in Milwaukee. Tons & tons of late late night eves hauling out crates & crates of records. The smell, sweat. The beautiful mornings crawling home. All for sake of the music. Their drive. Their vision. We as family addicted. Between Reed’s letter today & the music I was/am geeked. My buddy at dinner called me speed freak. Great letter Reed. Solid, funny & oh, so sad. Not “Oh God life sucks” but so wild & full I got to bite a tree. Terrific letter. Kelly – thanks for the great news and then cool ass poem. Keep it up. Check out Avoided’s My Space page, Reed’s band www.myspace.com/avoided & listen to W.R.S.T. Radio. It’s streaming on the web - http://www.uwosh.edu/wrst/
A terrific radio station. My life raft.

Now for some serious shit. Gary Gilmore. Almost finished with The Executioner’s Song. Heavy in more ways than one. A few more books this size in a pillow case is great for curls. Anyway, “You could easily do away with a lot of jails. They’re shit. They breed. They don’t deter crime. Right now I’m a prisoner of my body. I’m trapped in myself. Worse than jail!”

So many amazing moments – thoughts-statements in this book. Gilmore killed 2 men, after he robbed them, point blank in the head. In & out since a teenager. He was cold. So you think. A vastly intelligent man sentenced to death. He chose firing squad in Utah. Strange huh? Mormon Land. Bring your 10 wives & have a cook out. Which came first the Christian or the lion? Eye for Eye. Love this country. Anyway, a great point is that prison is a complete socialist way of life. Told when to go to bed. What to wear. Eat. When to get up. Total control. Right now Dick Dale (radio). Fuckin amazing. Sitting on my bunk cross legged, books open all over my, my radio blasting in my ear. Thinking of Gary & my/our/his brothers & the fuckin fuckin hard soulful guitar just banging, singing away reminding me that, yeah, yeah – everything is going to be alright. There’s nothing like a great song. Great kiss. Painting. Empty star filled night. Rebel Without A Cause on in a few minutes. Some Black Flag coming up. So prison is basically socialist. Everything in theory is equal. Sometimes you get shorted but the next day you get a huge piece of cake.
So that’s a huge crash when you get out. Sad but true. Who reminds us when to piss? amongst other things.

“Things that are harsh and unkind are here on Earth and they’re temporary. They don’t last. This all passes. That is my summation of my ideas and I might be all wet.”
-Gary Gilmore
Not wet, me thinks. Truer than rain.

“Let’s do it” besides some Latin, Gary’s last words.
“Don’t mourn, boys. Organize” Joe Hill’s last words.

Utah & her executions. This country & her lies.
Eye for an eye.
Why do we ever bring children into this world?
I’m sure we do because of our selfish nature. Our sand fly mentality. Our vision lost in the romanticism. Ruby glasses & the fight for our right to party!

Later. I’m off to see the lizard. The wonderful lizard of OZ.

This Sunday, March 9th at 3:00 pm on WRST Radio they will be playing one of the most amazing bands of all time - Velvet Underground! So keep in mind daylight savings time & listen.
Our/the circle is as large as we choose. Pull that string or release that tension. We are the circle and like the moon & sun that connects now, finally music! I will request a song for all you - you also if you choose, my friends!

http://www.uwosh.edu/wrst/

Later.