Monday, May 4, 2009


If we could look at life as a bit of fiction – a distance – I believe I, if not you, could relax. Maybe not totally but to see & breathe every moment. To see the lifetime in every second. I got called from hobby back to my unit. I knew it was either my father or canteen. It was my father. He is alive but his health is failing. I got to talk with him, my mother and my sister. We talked 15-20 minutes. My father is brilliant. Always was & looks like always will be. Funny, quick & so loving. My mother & I shared so many tears. This journey. & my sister – always so strong. Death is weird. So weird. Which direction. What direction. A shrink here told me “Be in the moment. Feel the moment” & yes, so right. So much is defined by how we live. What we did. What we didn’t do. So much pressure. So many directions & then we’re gone. In loved filled relationships there is peace. There is joy but for me there’s always selfishness. Questions & then the sadness. Life is our fiction. What we chose to write – to live. I spent time with my mother, father & sister explaining how prison is helping me. How I miss them. My Noah. My friends. My Kelly. But I don’t miss society. I just miss my loved ones which means I’m ready to go. I’ve never stopped loving & I’ll never stop fighting (for good, for art, for poetry) & I can tell you who is responsible. Who gave me that first taste of love. Of Man’s injustice. But I think you know. My sister wondered about this blog & so did Kelly. I get so distracted & I forget to write. I will get back on that horse.

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