Last night at dinner some dude yelled at my buddy Tony – “That’s fucked up!.... you said dude was an internet pervert” & Tony being the stand up piece of shit that he is, replies, “no, I meant him”, his finger pointed in my face. So there I am standing with a fresh bite of sloppy joe in my face. & then the questions. Now what happened next……well, I answered a few questions. Finished my meal. Mind understands I am surrounded by criminals – those who have hurt, raped & tormented & a few drug cases. Needless to say I am waiting for the other shoe to fall.
What did happen is, Tony was chastised for being an ass. Someone who would talk shit about some one he hung with. A number of guys approached Tony directly. Frank & Mike being the most direct. The bottom line, where I was seeking & needing an example of brotherhood, I found it. & I am grateful.
Today in the mail a note from a friend – “Do not write me again, please; it makes me uncomfortable”. So my question is – who or what system defines prison? To me it’s that fence & sometimes when I write I get no reply. But truly my prison is simply the pain in my loved ones eyes. Their hearts. The past is the past. It’s the mirror over our left shoulder. Great for romance. For memories. For tears. For life – well perhaps life’s lessons. Go forward & watch those feet. My God – turn off the fuckin tv & walk along the river. Listen as the water glides over the rocks. Reflect. The clouds around your head. Surrender.