Friday, August 17, 2007


I’m an intolerant person. Waste – stupidity – cowards- snitches – gossips, I abhor. Let’s take the premise “Life is too short” ok? So that implies, at least for me and a few others for sure) Go For It! What’s “it”? Joy - money – sex – power – a family – a mark upon the world.

Joseph Campbell says “Follow your bliss”. Yeah, that’s it.

Today it’s raining light-heavy. Beautiful. A cleansing. A distraction, an irritation. Well I walk & talk. P.K. – a new guy – is walking also. I come up behind, “Good morning”. “Yeah, morning”. I start to shoot the shit. It’s easy. He’s alright. “I heard you’re a skin head” he asks. “That’s bullshit”, I reply. "I walk with everyone though I hate snitches & bullies just like my buddy Slim does”. “Heard he was too”. “Talk to him”, I reply.

Our words follow our path. Oval. Relaxing. Drugs. Suicide. The usual. Well he’s a raver. I think Good Gravy in 2 minutes that god damn techno beat. No, I’m wrong. Though only 23 he’s on top. I mention the first time I did X, “Avenging Disco Godfather”. “Rowland, the bastard” had a few. Crush & snort. He pukes. I, time of my life. He knows of “the bastard”. I’m no longer a skin head. He talks of P.L.U.R. I tell him never let anyone tell you who to walk with. He agrees. He’s alright.

So it’s raining. Frank works in horticulture assigned to water the tomato plants. Yup. Garbage bag poncho moves the rain into his boots. Yup. Prison.

That kid who got raped - some guys claimed he & his cellie were in fact getting it on. He’s gay so of course he’s meat for the taking. Prison. Try the victim. He’s in the hole.

All these words previous are a prelude to cowards. Cowards like the person who left a comment about this blog. Sure, leave your 2¢ but run like a scared child.

I have never hurt a child. Yes, my relationship with Evan was volatile & Yes he was the victim of my anger. I spent everything – all the energy I had, ‘til the moment he died, letting him know how proud of what an amazing person he became & what an honor it is to call him my son. Noah understands and knows - ‘til the day I die I will do everything within my power to be there for him. Yeah, I fucked up big by ending up here so I know I have a huge hole to climb out of. I read & understand the writing on the wall. But if you think for a fraction that I would hurt a child any way, you have no idea of who I am. Nothing. I grew up under profound oppression. Not just family insanity but the time, the events, the killings, assassinations. I resent & fight authority. I feel as a man that I stand for certain principles.
One, I hate bullies. Anyone who takes advantage of, is.
I’m clear about my crime in here & Hello – do you have any clue who walks, eats, sleeps & shits next to me? If they can understand me at any level & don’t judge me…well, you get the picture. So in continuing with this rant –
Life is too short.
Live mother fucker. Live.


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